Lately it has been on my mind how often there are situations in our lives that we just can not control or they happen with no clear explanation. My first semester of college seemed to be full of these situations.
Going into college I was pretty nervous about how it would go, and how I would be able to handle being on my own. Being on my own was a very scary situation and I was so nervous. My grandmother had been diagnosed with cancer in summer of 2009 and it had been a battle ever since. Well a month before the semester started the doctor told my family that my grandmother did not have much longer to live. I knew this whenever I started the semester but with the excitement of school and my mother's assuring texts I was not worried about my grandmother leaving me anytime soon. Well class began on Wednesday, but I knew that I would be going home for the weekend for Labor Day Holiday so I would get to spend time with my family. That Friday all seemed well and I had spoken to my friend who is also from Brownwood and she needed me to take some of her personal items back to Brownwood. Well as I was walking back from one of my classes my mother called me urgently and said that I needed to be home soon and that my dad was going to drive to Austin to come get me. I didn't question anything and headed to my friend's dorm to get her things before my dad arrived. Whenever I arrived at her dorm, we began to chat and she told me that she had decided that she too was going home for the weekend. I thought oh, well why ask my dad to come down here, if I could just ride with my friend. At first I did not realize that this "lucky" opportunity, was a blessing in disguise. Whenever I arrived to my hometown my mom finally told me why it was so urgent for me to be home. My grandmother wasn't going to be with us much longer and I needed to say goodbye.
I hadn't realized until much later that my friend going home that day was a great blessing, something that couldn't really be explained. I just happened to be lucky to show up to her dorm before she decided that she was going to head home. My grandmother passed away later in the night but I was able to see her, and accept that she wasn't going to be with us anymore. The extra time that I received through arriving early was something that I appreciated. I was able to bond with my family and we were all able to pray together and it was a blessing to know that we were in it together.
The scenarios surrounding my grandmother's run with cancer and her death were all so unexpected and I could never fully understand why it happened to her.
A month and a half later, on October 16th I was in a car accident. I had fallen asleep at the wheel, and rolled my car 7 times. I can't remember much about the rolling but I do remember being so scared whenever my world had finally stopped spinning. I did not have any serious injuries, or at least ones I considered serious. My biggest injury was a chip on my shoulder bone that needed to be healed. I didn't mind that I was "broken" but the few bruises and sores that I had were worth it because I was alive. This scenario is something that could have been prevented had I not fallen asleep but it still affected me in a way that I could not explain what happened afterwards. I had never been injured before so it was new to me the restrictions that are in place whenever you have broken limbs. I have always been a very independent individual, so even with my arm in a sling I still tried my very best to do everything on my own. My feelings and emotions were raging from not being able to be at my full ability and it angered me to feel so limited. Being in this situation unknowingly taught me to be more gentle and accepting of others who were maybe not up to "normal" speed. It also showed me how to be more willing to receive help and allow others to be there for me. I couldn't handle everything on my own and it took me a while to accept this.
Not being fully able-bodied for a few months was something I had not anticipated my first year in college, but it led to many other opportunities that may or may not have happened due to my unexplained accident.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Family Matters
I didn't blog last week, but I hope that this can make up for both weeks. I've really been thinking on the topic a lot lately!
So this Spring Break instead of going on an actual vacation I decided to just head to my hometown and hang out with my parents. Which pretty much meant I went home, slept a lot, and ate more than I needed too. But it was otherwise a great time and I really enjoyed being home with my family and getting to spend time with my foster siblings. Hanging out with them really got me thinking about how important a family is in shaping a child and I really was sad that these children don't always have the best support systems. So that is what I would like to talk about, the importance of family support.
I come from a very large central and extended family who are a huge part of my life. Growing up I knew that there were always people around who cared about me and wanted what was best for me. My parents are awesome people and have always provided my brother and I with any and everything we ever needed or wanted. Mind you, we weren't spoiled, but blessed with parents who did their best to raise us. We played city league sports, and participated in tons of extracurricular activities in school. Our parents really pushed AJ and I to try our best in everything we did, and to never give up on something that you really wanted. All of this being said, I know that compared to many others I lived a fairly stress-free life growing up and didn't ever worry about much until 2009 whenever my mom's mother got cancer. Cancer comes with a lot of worry and sadness, but as a family we stayed strong while she was with us, and even now that she is no longer on earth. I know that no matter what I always have a family to run to when I am down, and someone that will catch me if I'm falling.
My parents recently became foster parents, and this has been a new experience for my whole family. Of course we all have been loving and excepting of the children, but when my parents first said they wanted to do this, I was kind of lost. So when my mom and I finally had a time to really talk about it, she told me all the reasons she wanted to do foster care. She brought up my childhood and how she wanted to be able to be good parents to children who needed it. This answer made me realize that there were so many children that come from homes not like my own, and this really did hit me hard. It was hard for me to imagine that not everyone had wonderful parents like my own, or awesome extended family members who were there for them at any moment. Now that my parents have children in our home I do the best I can to show them what a loving, caring family is like. We have mainly smaller children, 5 and under so they are not as affected as older children but it is still noticeable. They have their moments whenever they cry for their parents, or act out because they just came home from a visit. My heart always aches when I see them hurting because I know that none of this is their fault, but they are too young to understand the situation. In these scenarios I feel a little lost because I can not relate with the children, but can only hope that the few comforting things I do will show them that I am trying.
This break with my family has reminded me of how much I love them, and how much I love that we have become a foster family. Even though some days are tough, and the kids don't warm up as fast as we thought, there are still those few shining moments that happen.
So this Spring Break instead of going on an actual vacation I decided to just head to my hometown and hang out with my parents. Which pretty much meant I went home, slept a lot, and ate more than I needed too. But it was otherwise a great time and I really enjoyed being home with my family and getting to spend time with my foster siblings. Hanging out with them really got me thinking about how important a family is in shaping a child and I really was sad that these children don't always have the best support systems. So that is what I would like to talk about, the importance of family support.
I come from a very large central and extended family who are a huge part of my life. Growing up I knew that there were always people around who cared about me and wanted what was best for me. My parents are awesome people and have always provided my brother and I with any and everything we ever needed or wanted. Mind you, we weren't spoiled, but blessed with parents who did their best to raise us. We played city league sports, and participated in tons of extracurricular activities in school. Our parents really pushed AJ and I to try our best in everything we did, and to never give up on something that you really wanted. All of this being said, I know that compared to many others I lived a fairly stress-free life growing up and didn't ever worry about much until 2009 whenever my mom's mother got cancer. Cancer comes with a lot of worry and sadness, but as a family we stayed strong while she was with us, and even now that she is no longer on earth. I know that no matter what I always have a family to run to when I am down, and someone that will catch me if I'm falling.
My parents recently became foster parents, and this has been a new experience for my whole family. Of course we all have been loving and excepting of the children, but when my parents first said they wanted to do this, I was kind of lost. So when my mom and I finally had a time to really talk about it, she told me all the reasons she wanted to do foster care. She brought up my childhood and how she wanted to be able to be good parents to children who needed it. This answer made me realize that there were so many children that come from homes not like my own, and this really did hit me hard. It was hard for me to imagine that not everyone had wonderful parents like my own, or awesome extended family members who were there for them at any moment. Now that my parents have children in our home I do the best I can to show them what a loving, caring family is like. We have mainly smaller children, 5 and under so they are not as affected as older children but it is still noticeable. They have their moments whenever they cry for their parents, or act out because they just came home from a visit. My heart always aches when I see them hurting because I know that none of this is their fault, but they are too young to understand the situation. In these scenarios I feel a little lost because I can not relate with the children, but can only hope that the few comforting things I do will show them that I am trying.
This break with my family has reminded me of how much I love them, and how much I love that we have become a foster family. Even though some days are tough, and the kids don't warm up as fast as we thought, there are still those few shining moments that happen.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Education, Education
So lately I have been thinking a lot about education and the video we watched in class on monday. I remember being in the school system and seeing other children who were just not that excited to be at school. I watched a documentary called the lottery which spoke about the charter school system and how the children were all just randomly selected to sttend these schools. The film showcased several families that were eager for their children to attend these schools. These families were already teaching their chidren the alphabet and how to spell their names. This eagerness for education is something that I hope is happening around our country.
With my younger sisters (who are 5 & 7), I have noticed that they are beyond eager to know what I am doing when I just say "homework". I can barely get away with this response anymore because they want to know exactly what kind of homework it is. They want to read what I read, watch what I watch, and understand what I am doing. This is a great benefit for them because they have grown up with role models, and are given the tools to succeed. But what about the other kids who don't have older siblings for role models or the tools to succeed in the American school systems.
I feel as though these children, the ones left behind or placed on a slower track should be more thought about. Give them opportunities to progress, and if they need the access to a role model they should be able to have one.
Another thing that has been stuck in my mind as of late, was the Save Texas Schools Rally that happened on March 23rd. Longhorn LULAC, which I am also involved in, was present there to express their feelings about legislation that may change Texas schools. There are changes that are affecting the whole state, but it seems as though not many are taking action. As college students we are seen as young, still eager for change, but I feel as though we shouldn't be the only ones. If you want something to change, you must be the change. Corny I know, but I know there will be many complaints after legislation changes or stays the same from people who did nothing to show their interest. I guess where I'm going with this is that I hope people who know their importance as a citizen are voicing their opinions and voting when their are elections.
Sorry this is so late, I wasn't sure what I wanted to blog about!
With my younger sisters (who are 5 & 7), I have noticed that they are beyond eager to know what I am doing when I just say "homework". I can barely get away with this response anymore because they want to know exactly what kind of homework it is. They want to read what I read, watch what I watch, and understand what I am doing. This is a great benefit for them because they have grown up with role models, and are given the tools to succeed. But what about the other kids who don't have older siblings for role models or the tools to succeed in the American school systems.
I feel as though these children, the ones left behind or placed on a slower track should be more thought about. Give them opportunities to progress, and if they need the access to a role model they should be able to have one.
Another thing that has been stuck in my mind as of late, was the Save Texas Schools Rally that happened on March 23rd. Longhorn LULAC, which I am also involved in, was present there to express their feelings about legislation that may change Texas schools. There are changes that are affecting the whole state, but it seems as though not many are taking action. As college students we are seen as young, still eager for change, but I feel as though we shouldn't be the only ones. If you want something to change, you must be the change. Corny I know, but I know there will be many complaints after legislation changes or stays the same from people who did nothing to show their interest. I guess where I'm going with this is that I hope people who know their importance as a citizen are voicing their opinions and voting when their are elections.
Sorry this is so late, I wasn't sure what I wanted to blog about!
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